have yourself a merry little whatever.  

this is for you >>> http://jtfanclub.com/holiday/

december 26 is my birthday.  it will be december 26 in 7 minutes.  you should all send me gifts. if you can swing it, i'd like a printer. this one would be suitable as well.  

give me ring if you want to do something over the next few weeks.  my schedule is mired in a mysterious cloud of uncertainty, and i am open to suggestions.  

best, 

jim 

i am a bad packer. i brought 5 wool sweaters and three sweatshirts with me to the U.S. these garments ad substantial weight to my bags. i had to rearrange stuff, and carry on more than i had anticipated because my bag was over the not very generous weight limit allowed by northwest airlines. i complained about this to marleen before i got on the plane. my main gripe was that i am allowed to check two bags, each weighing up to 23 kilograms for a total of 46 kilograms. i couldn't understand why my 30 kilogram bag would not be allowed in place of two bags with a greater combined weight. marleen and her infinite wisdom suggested that it was a union regulation saying that the baggage handlers weren't allowed to lift things greater than 23 kg. that makes good sense. i understand the rationale behind such a regulation, but i still (rather selfishly) think that if i can lift a bag, then the guys hired to move luggage should be able to lift it as well. i'm not going to write a letter to them or anything, but i wish the airlines to make my travel experience more enjoyable. i also wish they would do something to reduce the impact of my bad packing habits. if you own or operate an airline and you happen to be reading this, please consider increasing baggage weight limits, and in flight ammenities. that is what i want for a christmas present.

good night,
jim

p.s. did you notice the new homepage pictures? no more black eyes.

Sweet Jesus! I'll be returning to the U.S.A. on sunday. Time flies when you have no agenda whatsoever. Once home, it will be nice to eat some barbecue and see some friends and family, but really it's going to be a hassle. It costs a lot of money (which I'm not making right now), and I don't have a place to live. Sure, I could stay at my parents' house for an entire month, but that would make me insane. Instead, I'll be traveling from couch to couch looking for ways to spend my time between meals of delicious barbecued meats. That is my plan for the whole month. I dig simplicity.
I'm going to keep this post short, but I'd like to voice my surprise at how much it has been snowing here. It doesn't accumulate, but it has snowed at least 4 times since the end of November.

That's all for now,
Jim

p.s. Stay tuned for a homepage update in the coming weeks. It's going to be awesome.

Isn't She Lovely?, originally uploaded by jimturbert.

Marleen and I participated in the Snoor Parade at de Kunsthal today. She fooled them with this silly disguise. She's a crafty one. Snoor means mustache by the way.
I ate another olie ball today. I am not sick of them yet. I don't have anything of substance to share with you, so I will go now.

Best,
Jim

Snow Tracks, originally uploaded by jimturbert.

It's freaking snowing in Rotterdam. Shit is crazy.

Reporting live,
Jim Turbert

things are progressing nicely at our place.  it's still messy after the arrival of our stuff, but it gets better and better everyday.  

i just want to tell you about olie ballen.  olie ballen (literally oil balls) are balls of dough fried, often with raisins, that have been deep fried and covered with powdered sugar.  sounds kind of like a doughnut, right?  well, marleen tells me that olie ballen were the inspiration for our (we, the americans) doughnuts.  i believe it, but i've never had a doughnut that tastes like this.  the oil ball is much denser and chewier.  i'm not going to say it's better than a doughnut, but it is a lot different, and given the fact that i am accustomed to the american doughnut, this is exotic and special for me.  i'm told that all of the olie ballen i've had so far, are of average quality.  i am very anxious to eat an exceptional one.  

also, i've been eating dutch goat cheese.  it takes the same form factor as normal dutch cheese, and it seems to be treated in the same way.  the only difference in its preparation is that goat milk is used instead of cow milk.  i must tell you that i love it.  like the doughnut versus olie ballen, it's not a matter of one being better than the other.  it's that they are similar yet different in so many ways.  i wish i could fully explain why this is.  i suppose the goat cheese is smoother.  it has a sweeter flavor, and the texture is finer than normal dutch cheeses.  the great thing is that this is not a specialty item.  you can buy it in the supermarket.  i've seen two varieties, jong (young) and belegen which means aged.  i've come to accept belegen as sharpness.  as a citizen of flavor country, i always choose belegen, but i'm sure the softer jong cheese is also incredibly delicious.  maybe i'll buy some today.

until next time, 

jim 

My goddamned stuff finally arrived this past Tuesday (56 days later). The boat actually arrived in the Netherlands on October 17, but due to the chronic ass sucking of the moving company (more of a broker actually), it just arrived this week. Do not ever, under any circumstances, use a company called Global Ocean Freight for any sort of moving. They are unreliable and uncommunicative. The only thing they are good at is making sure you have paid them. If you would like more info, feel free to e-mail me about them.
I just thought I'd post a little something from the glorious moving day. I'm really excited to have my bicycles, and it's great to have a couch. I will not miss the inflatable air mattress we were using for seating, and I will not miss the lawn chairs we were using for dining furniture. A new day is dawning. A day that includes my stuff. It is awesome. As awesome as it is, it takes a long ass time to set up. Listening to music through decent speakers makes unpacking better, but things are still chaotic and crappy. That said, it gets better every hour. Here's a little video of my motorcycle coming off the truck.


Tot ziens,
jim

"Delicious on Bread"

Hot Dogs in a Can, originally uploaded by jimturbert.

I was in the supermarket earlier today, and I saw hot dogs in a can. The idea of hot dogs in a can is not a pleasant one for me. I understand that hotdogs are a pretty low-brow food in general, but there are some examples of non-schwaggy wieners out there. When I was growing up in CT, my parents used to buy Mucke's, and they were really good. Boston has Pearl and Kayem, not to mention a wide assortment of national (and maybe international) brands that make an equally high-quality product (Hebrew National, Maple Leaf). Hot dogs don't need to be nasty mystery meat that was going to get tossed out anyway. The better ones are made from fine cuts of beef or a mixture of beef and pork. It's true that there is a lot of cartilage, fat and other ingredients that I don't care to discuss in most varieties of the hot dog, but I'd like to let everyone know that quality dogs do exist. Of course, the existence of hot dogs in a can does not help my case. Putting any meat in a can does not inspire folks to say things like, "Now this is good stuff!" Meat in a can is historically undesirable. Think of Spam, or anything made by Dinty More. Having canned hot dogs bearing the label "According to the original American recipe" on the shelf of Dutch supermarkets just reinforces the stereotype that Americans are a classless people with no culture or cuisine. I love eating hot dogs, and I love eating hamburgers. It appears to me that bastardized versions of delightful foodstuffs (like canned hot dogs and MacDonald's hamburgers) ruin an otherwise glorious thing for the rest of the world. Read my words. Tell your friends. Let everybody know.

Sincerely,
Jim Turbert

Not A Giant Shopping Cart

Not A Giant Shopping Cart, originally uploaded by jimturbert.

I have not been inspired to write entertaining or informative weblogs lately. I apologize for that. In lieu of a decent post, I offer you a companion piece to the picture of the giant shopping cart I posted a few weeks ago. Marleen is included for scale.

Sincerely,
Jim Turbert

Giant Shopping Cart

Giant Shopping Cart, originally uploaded by jimturbert.

Today was the first real day i was out in Rotterdam on a bicycle. The bike is a hunk of dook, but, it was free, and that is the perfect price. I had to fix the brakes and stuff, but now I am able to get around the city, and it doesn't take me all day.
Check out this giant shopping cart I saw. Shit is crazy, right?
I finally got my camera today. Fedex came through for me. I don't really have much to say. I kind of just wanted to post the picture of the giant shopping cart. I'll be back in the future.

Best,
Jim

Torch Steak

Torch Steak, originally uploaded by jimturbert.

Marleen and I went to Amsterdam to see a performance by a group known as Dogtroep. It was quite an elaborately orchestrated presentation of rigorously planned chaos. After the performance Marleen told me that the performance was supposed to be based on Hamlet. My 9th grade English teacher Mrs. Tresky would be sad to hear that I didn't get that, but I thought the performance was very cool. Also, it was visually exciting. I don't have any pictures of the actual performance. First of all, I was busy watching the performance. Secondly, my crappy cell phone camera/fixed position seating position would not have done it justice. You'll have to believe me when I say that the spiral staircase with a ballerina on it which was suspended above the performance area by a giant crane was a sight to behold. What I do have pictures of is the concession area after the performance. It was an outdoor performance that finished after 10pm. We were cold, but imagine our delight when we stumbled across these two ladies cooking steaks with blow torches. Warm red meat is very satisfying after watching strange theatre in the cold night air.

Best,
Jim

this is an example of the public art in my new neighborhood.  i believe that it is the only public art in my neighborhood, but at least we have some, right?  i think it's a dear little sculpture relief thing on the wall.  i'm looking forward to posting more images like this.  being a large format man, i haven't done too much off the cuff shooting of my friends and surroundings since my massart days.  i don't even own a digital camera - gasp!  i just got a swell new iphone though, and it has a meager camera built in, so if i can force myself to remember that i have the capability, i will take some pictures of my new surroundings while i'm engaged in unemployed meanderings throughout rotterdam and the rest of the netherlands.  keep in mind that those meanderings are quite frequent, so there could be some interesting posts in the coming days.  

speaking of being unemployed, i've decided that once i have employment clearance from the very precise and rule abiding dutch government i would like to have a job naming dutch products that are supposed to sound american. this profession may seem unnecessary in a land filled with people who speak english almost as well as they speak their own language, but after today, i've decided that this new profession is a viable option.  the dutch tend to name things that are kind of big or have chocolate chips in it "american."  that's just lazy and obvious.  i recently encountered a brand of ice cream from the albert heijn supermarket chain that is supposed to compete with or offer a reasonable alternative to a product like ben and jerry's.  i'm not sure if it's marketing genius or a serious oversight, but they call one of their ice cream flavors "nut explosion."  i find the name hilarious, but am i the only one who believes nut explosion is an inappropriate name for a sweet creamy and delicious dairy dessert?  think about it. this is a family product. 

anyway, it's not that i don't find the name nut explosion funny, but i think they should hire me to come up with appealingly inoffensive names for their flavors of ice cream among other things.  

best wishes,

jim

p.s.  we got albert heijn ice cream for later tonight, and i was going to take a picture of the packaging for you.  marleen thought she grabbed nut explosion, but she got the boringly named cookie caramel instead.  i'm still looking forward to eating cookie caramel ice cream this evening it should still be quite good even if the name is not as racy.  

i'm not going to say much other than i am alive; b is alive, and we are in holland.  i'll let you know more later.

best, 

jim 

this is going to be the last post for at least a week.  i'm getting unplugged from the computer tomorrow.  the movers are coming in the morning.  the late morning.  i've been living in a mess of boxes and trash for weeks now, but i'm almost there.  instead of getting messier, it's getting cleaner and more orderly.  every moment gives me another square inch of floor.  i still need to drain the gas out of the motorcycle.  i can do that in the morning.  i also need to fill out the insurance papers.  i must do that tonight.  it's hard to believe that this is my last week living in boston.  it's so hard to believe that i am currently unemployed.  it's so hard to believe that i'm going to be a foreigner next week.  there are lots of things that it is hard to believe.

if you've recently e-mailed me, i will get back to you.  i can't really do that right now.  i shouldn't even be writing this because i haven't finished packing yet.  i figured it would be okay to post while i ate my trader joe's mojito salmon.  now the salmon is gone, and i have no excuse to keep writing.

i had a yard sale yesterday.  it was moderately successful.  i was, and still am, utterly shocked by some of the stuff that got sold.  on the other hand, i am also shocked at some of the stuff that didn't sell.  people are hard to predict.  so yeah, the next post will be from an expatriated man living amongst the vulcans of the human race.  i hope they don't mind meld me too much and turn my brain into mush.  that happens you know...

i'll talk to you later, 

jim 

hi. i wanted to take this opportunity to tell you about an exhibition that i will be in through most of september at wellesley. we put it up the other day, and it looks good. i totally want to buy one of andy mowbray's quilts, but i cannot afford it. i like the other work, too, but i didn't inquire about the prices. here is the wellesley press release for the show. if you live around boston and ever had the desire to see 10 of my expectations vs. realities pictures displayed at once, here is your chance. also, you can see other cool stuff (and i'm not just saying that...). the opening is wednesday from 4:30 until 6, but you can drop by and see the pictures until the 28th, i think.
i spent all day yesterday with my mom and my sister packing up my stuff. i'm still not finished. my sister was disgusted by how much stuff i was not willing to throw away. i suppose she's right, but i must say that i have some pretty good stuff. it is worth saving.
i have no plans for today. i suppose i could pack the rest of my crap up. i'd like to work on the motorcycle, but i feel that i need to go to the "triumph shop" in wakefield before i do that, but they aren't open on saturdays. there's no way they are open on labor day weekend.
i think i'm a dyslexic typist. i'm not really dyslexic. i'm just a bad typist, and the majority of my typos are reversed letters. for instance, i just went through this post for a quick edit, and i spelled until like this "utnil" once and like this "unitl" the next time. i type the word auditorium a lot at work. i almost always type it like this "auditroium" before correcting it. i'm not saying this is a disorder i have. i'm just saying...
speaking of work, i only have 4 more work days (5 more calendar days) until i'm unemployed. that is a very strange feeling.

until next time,
jim

i will be in this show.  i think it looks pretty cool.  i'm kind of intimidated because i think i'm i'm the only photo person, and you know how non-photo people feel about photo people, don't you?  anyway, if you are in the south of germany, you should go.  

http://www.tupajumi.com/sigmaringen/

thank you for your time, 

jim 

goddamnit, airfare is expensive.  although i've been preoccupied with moving my stuff to the netherlands lately, the fact remains that i will have to move myself there as well.  let me tell you a little about my experience, and why it sucks.  

i will be flying with our beloved cat b.  i figure she's going to freak the fuck out on the plane, so i want to take the fastest flight possible.  there is only one carrier who flies directly to amsterdam via boston, and that is northwest.  here's the other thing; i need a  round trip.  since i don't yet have a visa, i can't get a one way ticket, and the maximum amount of time i'm supposed to spend there is three months.  so i want to buy a ticket from september 12 until december 12.  the only price for that ticket anywhere is $2091!!!  just for shits and giggles, i checked to see what the flight would cost if i bought the same flight, but returning on october 12 instead of december 12.  well, that flight only costs $869.  you may have noticed that there is a slight difference in the fares.  i called northwest, and her explanation was that december is "a christmas month."  yes it is , and there is no way for me to get my fare reduced.  i think i'm going to buy the ticket for the october return, and not use the october ticket.  the downside to that is that i may not be able to get my visa while i'm over there, so i may have to return anyway for legal reasons.  i might just buy a more reasonably priced december return ticket on another airline, and deal with my cat on multiple airplanes.  what would you do?  

thanks for your time, 

jim turbert   

i'm a little pre-occupied to write a good blog entry, but i thought i'd leave you with a few tidbits. 

1)  i watched the bob saget roast on comedy central last night.  all i have to say is that norm macdonald is a freaking genius.  i have no idea why he is not more visible in the world of funny movies and stuff.  i wish he was my neighbor.    

2)  i took two pictures with two entirely different set-ups in two entirely different locations yesterday.  that's big for me.  most people won't understand, but if you could see the way i work, you'd think it was quite an accomplishment as well.  

3)  my house is a hell hole of pain.  there are boxes and mess everywhere.  soon it will be entirely empty.  shit is crazy.  

4)  my time in this country is getting very short.  it is both exciting and scary.  

5)  would you mind being on my homepage?  let me know if you do, and i'll tell you why i ask.  keep in mind that you need to be relatively nearby if you do.  if you live in canada or nebraska i can't really help you.  my request requires that you live near where i currently am, meaning boston.   

alright then.  back to the phones.  

best wishes, 

jim 

man oh man, it has been raining like nobody's business here.  i almost don't know how to cope.  i'm not saying that the rain is too much for me.  it's not.  it has merely been more abundant lately than i am accustomed to.  i was at wellesley on wednesday evening, and there was some serious thunder happening right over my head.  it's not everyday that we get thunder that serious.  if i were a dog, i would have been cowering in the corner.  i am not a dog.  instead of cowering, i was taking pictures of myself in a stairwell.  i'd like to see a dog do that.  i don't think the dog would waste his time with such trifles if he could.  i'm sure he would be content chasing things and licking his balls.  unfortunately, that's not enough for me.  i'm on a mission to ensure that everyone in the world has seen a picture of me.  that's not true.  there is no mission, but it would be cool if more people saw the fruits of my labors.  it would be even cooler if people sought out my fruits.  just to be clear, when i say fruits, i mean my photographs.  

best, 

jim 

  

check it out - fancy silver eye >>> http://www.silvereye.org/exhibitions_new_works_gallery.htm

now if only they would show my work in my own freaking town.  during the past 12 months i've shown work in pittsburgh, pa; lexington, ky; new york, ny; miami, fl; brattleboro, vt; providence, ri; poughkeepsie, ny; and a few other places that i can't recall right now.  during the past two months i was rejected from two juried shows in boston.  that does not feel good. granted, thirteen months ago (not 12), i was in the lovely prc members show in boston.  that was a good one.  it was particularly good because i could invite friends to go to the opening. going to an art opening is kind of like going to see your friend's band, but instead of loud rock there are photographs and it's much earlier in the evening.  also, your ears don't ring at the end of the night, and you get to eat cheese and snacks.  since i'm about to move my ass over an ocean, i kind of hoped that i could get that kind of photo love from this place i've called home for the past 12 years.  that's not going to happen.  it's sad, but here's to a fresh start (glasses klink).  boston, soon you won't have jim turbert to kick around anymore. fuckers.  

best, 

jim 

hi.  if you have nothing to do tonight, you should go to brattleboro.  i'll be there talking about my pictures.  others will be there talking about their work.  i realize this is short notice, but my mind has been elsewhere, so i'm not really at the top of my game.  

anyway,  here's the link to tonight's event >>> click me!!!

best,
jim

i recently sold a bunch of stuff on ebay, and one of the buyers posted the feedback, "There are better sellers on ebay!"  i wasn't sure how to interpret that.  better than whom?  me?  it was positive feedback, but i couldn't tell if he insinuating that my selling could have been better?  i choose to think that he's suggesting that i am one of the better sellers on ebay.  there is an exclamation point after the sentence that indicates urgency or loud insistence.  but maybe i'm wrong.  maybe he feels strongly about the fact that there are some better ebayers out there than me.  maybe i did (or didn't do) something that he expects from an ebay seller.  it was an unremarkable transaction.  i posted it, he bid on it, i sent him an invoice, he paid.  that's a smooth transaction if i ever had one, and i'm sure i'm reading too much into this.  i just thought it was weird feedback.

sincerely, 

jim 

besides wanting to get an iphone, i've been grappling with a huge list of other shit that i want to deal with.  i need to shoot off some film.  lots of film.  marleen isn't around to help me with special picture time, so that makes things a bit more difficult.  i can do it by myself, but large format self-portraits go a lot smoother with some assistance.  there's other stuff too.  i'm a little overwhelmed.    

in preparation for the big pittsburgh photo show coming up later this month, i went out to worcester to preview my prints.  they look good.  if it weren't weird, i'd hang all of them up in my house, but it would be weird, so i'm not going to do it.  my point is that they look sweet, and i totally want to hang them up.  

i rode the motorcycle out to worcester.  i don't usually do a lot of highway riding.  riding from wellesley to worcester shouldn't be a big deal, but when i got off the bike, my hands were all vibratey, and i felt like i had been at a rock concert all night.  i'm not sure if it's the noise from the high revving bike engine or the constant white noise of air rushing over my helmet, but my ears were ringing.  they still kind of are.  i've been contemplating longer rides recently.  i want to ride down to hometown, connecticut to say my goodbyes to some people, and also to get some paperwork done in hartford (i need original birth certificates).  i'm not sure if i can handle the intensity of a 2.5 hour ride from boston to winsted on the triumph.  it's a sweet ride (i'll post a picture or two someday), but the thing is shakey, and as i mentioned before, it's not the most reliable bike on the block.  it had the weird pissing gasoline problem again this afternoon. fortunately, i knew how to deal with it this time, so i didn't have to push the bike home from worcester.  that would have been bad.  

that's all i've got for you now.  i need to go get some cat food for young b.  she is going to be pumped to see me.  

best wishes, 

jim     

i saw a guy in the grocery store wearing a t-shirt that said,

"Haikus are easy,

but sometimes they don't make sense.

Refrigerator."

shit cracked me up.  refrigerator!

best, 

jim 

i'd just like to let everyone in the world know that they should not walk around with blue tooth cell phone headsets stuck in their ears. it's okay if you are in the car or at your desk while you are multi-tasking.  it is NOT OKAY when you are out in the world playing with your kids and stuff. you are not geordi from star trek the next generation or one of those guys from cloud city. also, you are not cool. you look like a douche. seriously, only wear those things when you have to. i'm trying to help you.

sincerely,
jim turbert

happy birthday america.
fireworks should be starting soon. we're having a barbecue tomorrow. if you happen to be in or near boston and feel like coming over, that would be fine. you should call me if you know my number, or you should e-mail me. i check e-mail rather frequently.
i had a dream last night that i was on vacation with sarah and andrew. i don't remember much about the dream, but i think i was offering technical assistance to people. when i was a waiter, i sometimes had waiter dreams. i did not like that. i think this was the first technical assistance dream i've ever had. i could have had one before, but i don't remember. i forget my dreams a lot. at any rate, i woke up late, and i thought marleen was still in bed with me. i was wrong. she was doing other stuff, and i was all alone.
i scanned some film today. i need to reshoot. i hate reshooting, but i do it all the freaking time. if you are reading this blog, i assume that you've looked at my pictures before. if you have not, i suggest that you look at the pictures before you read any further...
okay, now that you've seen my pictures, there's one that i call dr. yale. i'm dressed up in a blue robe in a fancy looking library room. i took that picture 3 times. the blue truck one was two times. the first time i shot, i got all kinds of crazy lens flare. i was pretty pissed off about that. the basketball guys was once, and i have a football (not posted) one that was twice. i could go on, but i won't. i'm just trying to say that sometimes you need to do things over again. often i have to do things over again. kind of like when you technically support people while you are awake, and then you do it again while you are dreaming. that's just how it goes.

best,
jim

the upside of coming home from a european trip is getting accustomed to the time difference. marleen will disagree with me on this one. she hasn't had much luck adjusting since we've been back. i, on the other hand, get up earlier with very little effort, and i like it. i eat something before i leave the house. i have time to contemplate things that may be worth contemplating, and i read a few blogs before i go off to swelles for another rewarding day at work. it's not so bad.
when we go to europe, i'm a mess. it becomes difficult to get out of bed, and i feel like staying up until 3am. i suppose that's great if you've got something to do at 3am, but most of my people go to bed at a reasonable hour, and have no desire to be someplace until 3am. if they did want to be out until 3, chances are it would be at some crappy dance music venue, and i really can't take much of that. i am old, and it is getting more an more difficult for me to spend hours listening to music that i don't like just for the sake of hanging out. i would rather rake leaves than go to crazy dance club night. i am no fun. that said, staying up all night used to be my specialty. i would stay and hang out with all the drunks until they passed out or we called it quits. i just don't hang out with drunks anymore, and marleen really doesn't want to stay up until 3. we generally go to bed at a reasonable hour.
my neighbor is singing. i'm going to bed right now at the reasonable hour of 11:16pm.

good night,
jim

we're back. i have to go to work tomorrow. i'm really excited about that. i'm also excited that it's hot and rainy (or about to rainy) here. i think i'm going to make some pancakes. i'll try to write something interesting later.

best,
jim

i told you i'd post some pictures of holland.  well here they are.

this is a skoda.  i believe skoda was originally manufactured in the soviet union.  i ask you, "why would anyone want to buy a car (or anything else) made in russia?"

this is marleen in front of that middle lifty bridge thing in rotterdam.

boat in rotterdam - woo wee

in case you weren't aware, pannenkoeken are pancakes, and a boot is a boat.  that makes this the pancake boat.  evidently you can ride this boat and get all you can eat pancakes.  why have i not been on this boat?

the following pictures were taken in front of a cafe called dudoc in rotterdam.  in case you can't tell, this woman is carrying her not so small dog in her sweatshirt like a baby.

evidently it was difficult to secure the dog, so she asked a passerbye to help her secure him.

i've seen dutch people carry all kinds of crazy shit while riding their bicycles, but i've never seen anyone ride around with a good sized dog wrapped around their chest like a baby in one of those baby sarong things.  as a side note, look how badly her tires need to be inflated.

so far, these are my vacation pictures.  pretty exciting, heh?  i really don't get into looking at or taking vacation pictures all that much.  i go through phases i guess.  i used to take pictures all the time, but now i only take them when i'm working on a project.

i have a few more that i'll post tomorrow or the next day.  i know you can't wait.

best,

jim    

hi. it's been awhile. i'm still far, far away in holland, but despite my distance from home, i cannot escape certain things. one of those things is the desire to promote myself. i feel kind of silly posting this, but it could win me $500, and i am willing to do almost anythign for money. i guess that makes me a money grubbing whore.
we can talk about that later.
right now i want you to go to this website, and vote for me, or rate me highly if you feel so inclined.
>>> http://artistswanted.org/turbert <<<
the organization is not promoting this at all. they are leaving it up to people to use their social networks, etc. to get the word out there. my problem is that i do not participate in any new fangled social networks. this blog is the closest thing i have to a social network (as pathetic as that may seem), so i am throwing this one out to you, my readers/viewers. you could post it on the social networking site of your choice. you could tell your buddies all about how fantastic they will think my work is. blah blah blah. it was worth a try.
i guess i should post some hallandish pictures on this crappy blog. truth is, i haven't taken a single picture since i've been here. i'm busy. i'm also preoccupied. even on vacation, i can't escape my own brain or the horribleness that is 2008. this has to be the worst year since 1996. 1995 and 1996 sucked some serious ass, so that's saying a lot. i'll post some pictures before the end of the week.

love,
jim

damnit, it's hot.

two days ago i wore an insulated sweatshirt, and now i can't stop sweating.  shit is crazy.  so yeah, a lot of stuff is happening.  this summer is already action packed.  i wish i could say that i'm taking lots of pictures.  i am not.  i will be hitting it hard two weeks from now though.  i have mad plans.  i'm all nervous about it.  what if i bust my ass and my results suck?  i hate that feeling, but it usually works out at this point in my life.  i sort of know what i'm doing.  that said, there are always surprises in life.  i'm going to apply to the sandberg institute in amsterdam.  how exciting is that?  they only take 16 people per year (usually half of those are dutch).  with only around 8 spots available, it looks like my odds are not so hot.  combine that with the fact that i may or may not be a little late with my application due to some confusion (on my part).  my interpretation was that i had until july to apply.  technically, only EU people have until july.  US people had until may.  the lady on the phone told me to get it in as soon as possible despite my lateness.  they will get my application next week.  i don't know how much power she has, but i'm hoping she convinces the powerful people that my tardiness is acceptable.  if not, then there's always next year.  

what else have i got for you?  

not much.  i'm going to the photo store in a little while.  i hope they have super 8 film.  i want to buy some.  

best, 

jim

please do not call me or my pictures zany.  i do not not appreciate it.  

thanks, 

jim turbert

my summer starts today.  i no longer have to work at swelles on monday, which is a glorious and splendiferous thing.  the recent graduates (good luck to them) are gone along with the rest of the students, and there are no classes to speak of.  now i must get in gear and get some work done.  2008 has been a shitty year so far.  there have been some good things, but i've been in a fog since january.  it's time for that fog to lift because i don't have much time.  i'll be in holland from the 9th of june until the 22nd.  then i'll only have  a few weeks of high production mode until the pain of semester life starts again.  

on an entirely different note, let me tell you a little about vintage motorcycles.  they are wicked cool, and they look awesome.  they also inspire lots of middle aged men to talk to you.  that said, i don't recommend getting one unless you know what the fuck you are doing mechanically. buy a newer honda that will start every single time and will never stall.  if you are a mechanic, then by all means, get the cool vintage motorcycle.  i was riding my cool vintage motorcycle yesterday, and it stopped running.  i couldn't get it to run again, and it was pissing gas all over the place.  i shut off the fuel lines and walked it home from forest hills (fortunately i was relatively close to home).  i got it home, and discovered that my "float was stuck."  if you don't know what that means, then you probably shouldn't own a vintage motorcycle (unless you are rich).  i now know what it means, and i got my bike running again.  i am not ready to give up, but this thing is costing me a lot of money and aggravation.  i have a lot to learn about running and maintaining a motorcycle. when it works properly, it is totally awesome by the way.  i'm just saying it's not the most reliable bike on the block.  the suzuki down the street is probably the most reliable bike on the block, but i (and lots of middle aged men) think mine looks way cooler.  

best, 

jim 

the new york photo festival was overwhelming.  i enjoyed looking at lots of photos, but it would have been better to consume that many images over the course of the three day period instead of just one.  i did not recognize any boston people there.  i was surprised by that.  it didn't ruin my day though.  i wandered the crowded streets of dumbo alone, and i went to each of the venues at my own pace.  i find that my pace is the best one, but still, it would have been nice to have some company.  

what can i tell you about the exhibits.  i liked some more than others, and apparently i liked some that were widely disliked by the popular and learned bloggers.  that is okay by me.  i don't need their approval.  i would, however, like to have their approval more often than not.  i guess that makes me a sucker.  i can deal with that for now.  

i saw some pictures made by irina rozovsky (whom i recently met) in tim barber's curated showcase. i don't believe she's  from boston originally, but she went to school at massart, and she lives and works here.  she is also a fellow NEO featured artist (look at 2006/2007).

the main reason i went to new york was not for the festival.  i went to drop off my own picture for a less prestigious photo event that will be taking place this thursday evening at ceres gallery in chelsea.  you will notice my name in the sea of names on their list for their 8th annual juried show.  if you are a new york person, or if you are in a new york state of mind, you should go there and gawk at the art.  also, you should talk to me while you are there.  please say something nice.  

yours truly, 

jim turbert

i'm in brooklyn right now.  i'm going to get me some new york photo festival in a few moments.  i hope it doesn't cost too much.  i just want to look around.  

i spent yesterday walking around new york in the rain.  it was not a nice day. i needed to drop off a picture for a juried show i'm in at ceres gallery at 547 west 27th street.  you should go the the opening on thursday.  i'll post more about that later.  right now i must get my shit together.  my friend is going to work, and i feel that i should leave his apartment and experience photography in dumbo.  

best, 

jim 

i'm going through my shit.  i found a ton of polaroid test prints that i've used for my self-portraits (and other pictures) over the past few years.  a friend of mine often sends out post card contact sheets to people, so i'm going to start sending these polaroids as contact sheets to friends and folks.  i'd rather mail them away than throw them away.  i have a hard time throwing things out.  just ask marleen.  the house is full of things that marleen would throw away.  i cannot bear to let them go.  i thought i'd share that with you.  also, i am iron man. 

sincerely, 

jim turbert

i am listening to the new portishead record right this minute.  so far i like it very much.  it sounds different from their other records.  it's still dramatic, but in a more subtle way for the most part.  there are some very unsubtle drum machine parts that are full of metallic precision.  these drums contrast with the soft and vulnerable vocals of beth gibbons.  the keyboards sound freaking amazing.  i want to eat them.  the record deserves to be listened to very carefully.  i feel that if you listen to it is as background music you may miss some of the fine details hidden in mix, and that would be an insult to their production/engineering team.  it pleases me that after returning from what appears to have been an 11 year hiatus they have a fresh and exciting new recording that is not a tired rehash of their old work.  i wish i could have hung out with all the band members individually during their hiatus so i could know what they were listening to, and what they were eating, and what personal strife they were braving.  i'm glad they made their new record, and i hope that 11 years from now they have an equally as interesting new album for me to listen to.  also, i hope they tour.  i will go see them.  

sincerely, 

jim 

i just found out that my car is seriously fucked.  those weren't the words the mechanic used, but he doesn't even want to work on it.  he told me, "i don't do engine work anymore."  that is not convenient.  i made an appointment with another guy in jp. i went to him before, and it worked out.  hopefully this guy is going to tell me something nicer than the last guy, but i doubt he will. he's going to tell me to empty my wallet, and then he's going to fist me with his wrist watch on. i am not looking forward to it.  i have to wait an entire week for the forecast violation of my posterior body cavity.  i guess it's good that the mechanic is so busy.  he seems to have the faith of lots of folks.  i like that in a mechanic.  

the opening in brattleboro was great.  the people were super nice, and i think the snacks were the best opening food ever.  i'm not even exaggerating.  they had all sorts of great sweet and savory finger foods.  i wish i was there right now.  the show looks good too.  you should totally drive up to brattleboro, and go directly to the brattleboro museum and art center.  look at everything.  

thank you for your time, 

jim

if there's one thing you can count on in 2008, it's seeing some of my photographs in a juried show somewhere (just not in boston).  if you are in the greater brattleboro, vermont area on friday night (this friday, april 18 at 5:30) you should drop by the brattleboro museum and art center.  i have six pictures up on the wall there right now, and they are just waiting for you to look at them. if you can't make it to the opening, don't fret.  the show will be up until august, so anytime you feel like taking a drive into vermont this summer, you should do it via brattleboro so you can see the splendor.  i believe there is a shoe outlet there, too.  from my experience, shoe outlets excite people more than art shows do, so bring a friend, see some art, buy some shoes.  word. 

yours truly, 

jim turbert   

i have recently come to the conclusion that i greatly admire rob zombie.  i came to this conclusion on the way to work yesterday when i heard his song "living dead girl" on the radio.  i don't have any strong feelings for his music, but if he offered a step by step course on how to have an awesome life, i would totally take it.  he is living the dream, and by that i mean that he is spending his time immersed in what he loves.  he made a name for himself in a rock band called white zombie (also the name of a classic horror movie).  white zombie offered up a bunch catchy monster themed industrial metal jams, and scored 3 or 4 hits in the 90s.  you might think that after pulling off such a coup that he would fade away into nineties metal obscurity. well, he didn't.  he has convinced someone to give him money to make feature length  horror films.  i may be wrong about that, but even if he hasn't convinced someone to give him the money, he has amassed a big enough fortune to fund the production of three films, including a remake of halloween.  you know he loves the original halloween, and he got to write a back story for michael myers.  that shit is pretty dope.    he gets to be a rock star, and he directs films.  on top of that, his wife is totally onboard.  she has even adopted the last name zombie.  i wonder if their mail box says "the zombies" on it.  basically, rob zombie has made that which is beloved to him into his livelihood, and for that i salute him.  here's to you rob zombie.  you are an inspiration.  

sincerely, 

jim turbert

p.s.  rob - if you ever read this, could you please tell me if you wake up feeling completely satisfied with yourself every morning?  i'm betting that you do.  

this is a plate of poffertjes.  poffertjes are little baby pancakes that dutch people make.  since i have been married to a dutch person for over 4 years, i know all about what dutch people eat.  i also know that they talk funny, and that they are never wrong.  i've learned a lot.    
i am married to marleen, not to martin.  we went to the cape on our anniversary.  that is where we met martin.  he resides along route 28 in yarmouth or someplace like that.  we also had pancakes on route 28.  the place was called "the pancake man" and they serve all you can eat pancakes.  we only had one serving each, but our waitress told us that there was a guy there right before us who consumed eight pancakes.  shit is crazy.  

we did other stuff, too, but i'm not going to list everything here.  it was so awesome that you couldn't possibly handle it.  i wonder what we're going to get into next year...

best, 

jim turbert  

i took the written test to get my motorcycle license.  i passed it with flying colors.  if the weather allows, i will take a class and complete my training this weekend.  next week i should be a licensed motorcycle rider unless i fuck something up.  how does that make you feel?  so far i've found that the notion of getting a motorcycle license, or riding a motorcycle in general, inspires different reactions from people.  some think i'm crazy.  some think it's cool.  others don't give a crap either way.  i'm excited about it.  

okay, so i'm in a show in providence, rhode island this month.  it's going to be a good one.  i only have one picture in it, but there are lots of other folks, some of whom i am familiar with, and they make some solid art.  you should go see the show.  the opening is march 16th at 2pm.  the location is the providence art club.  it's at 11 thomas street in, well, providence.  i'll see you there. 

love, 

jim turbert

i was in atlanta since last thursday.  i learned that atlanta has the worst traffic ever, and that the city lacks a center of activity.  they do have a lovely art museum, and the coke museum is a well funded and ridiculous monument to genius marketing.  it was also reaffirmed that southern hospitality is not a myth.  those people are so freaking friendly, i almost shot myself.  i am not accustomed to people being so nice, and i felt like my cloud of northerness was making some of them uneasy.  i was with my parents, my sister/brother in law and marleen.  it was the closest thing to a family vacation i ever had.  i expected it to be much worse than it was. all in all, it went smoothly.  i expected the combination of family and traveling to be toxic, but it was fine.  i didn't want to kill any of them at any point during the trip.  

that's all i've got for you right now.  

best, 

jim

i have other things i'd like to sell.  you can see my auctions on ebay (search bolex multimatic, and graph-check sequence camera).  you should totally bid on one or both of these items.  they are very cool.  you could also buy a 3 foot x 6 foot stainless steel sink if you're in the market for one.  think of all the stuff you could wash in such a glorious sink.  i have someold photographic enlargers as well.  three of them.  all of them are in fine condition, but one of them is super awesome.  it's called an ilford 400hl.  it's a fancy ilford head on an omega d chassis, and it comes with all the accessories you would need for 35mm, all medium format, or 4x5.  lenses, easels and light boxes (instead of traditional condensers) are included.  the timer is digital, and the filtration is controlled from the timer box.  if you want a 2.5 filter, you hit the 2.5 button, and it dials it in for you .  it's totally sweet.  also, it makes a meditative beeping sound as it counts down your exposure.  some might not find the sound meditative; in which case, you can shut the beeper off.  you should buy it.  the other enlargers are older omega b enlargers.  old does not mean rickety and horrible.  they are tanks, and will work well for years to come.  it's really nice gear.  you should buy one.  i also have a powermac g4 dual 500mhz computer with a superdrive, and 1.5 gigs of ram.  it's old, but people still sell them on ebay for $150 and up with less ram and no superdrive.  you know you want an old mac.  you should buy mine.  contact me, and we can talk about the terms of the sale.  i have some other stuff, too.  let me know if you feel like buying something, and i'll tell you if i have it.  

i won't try to sell you anything else today.  i leave for atlanta tomorrow.  that should be okay provided it doesn't rain the whole time i'm there.  i'm not really looking forward to the trip, but i kind of have to go.  tonight i'm going to give a presentation about my photography in darren miller's class at the art institute of boston.  darren is a good fellow with good skills.  you should check out his website.  

i'm going to go.  let me know if there is anything that you feel i MUST do while i'm in atlanta, because at this point, i'm not sure what's going on there.  

yours truly, 

jim        

my job makes me feel bad.  it's a decent job.  the pay is okay, the benefits are decent, and i don't take it home with me too often.  the downside is that it's totally boring, and it is getting increasingly harder for me to be nice to people.  everything i do is totally mundane.  i make things work.  i show people how to use equipment.  i clean things.  i try to convince students that it's important for them to respect our equipment.  i answer lots of questions.  i solve the same recurring problems (caused by other people) over and over again.  it's demeaning.  i'm convinced that some of the faculty here think that my only responsibility is unjamming old slide projectors.  i was actually introduced to a visiting lecturer one time as the slide projector expert.  that is the only thing that the professor could think to say about me.  shit is crazy.  shit is sad.  besides that, i don't even consider  myself a slide projector expert.  

why do i stay?  i've been asking myself that question more and more lately.  i'm sure all my negative feelings will eventually pass and i will slip into a nice groove of complacency, but right now i really want to find another way to spend my time.  

best, 

jim 

i now own turbert. com.  i consider this a minor triumph, as it has been in the works for a long time.  after many trials and tribulations, i am now officially under the control of the domain that bears my name.  now that it is mine, what do i plan to do with it you may ask???  well, i'm not quite sure.  i just wanted it.  at the moment it is pointing to jtfanclub.com, but i think i may make turbert.com a resume type website to help me gain glorious future employment. speaking of glorious, i stumbled across these sweet images on the old internet the other day.  i really like mr. hobson's work and his use of the ultra-wide angle (normally i'm not too keen on that sort of thing).  i recently bought one of those chinese 6 x 17 panoramic backs off of ebay.  i had been thinking about buying one for a long time, and then i saw the darjeeling ltd.  wes anderson's cinematographer got me all excited about making totally awesome panavision photographs.  so far i have been way less than satisfied with my results.  it's kind of like when i first went to art school, and i wanted to be a film major.  i was super into movies, and i figured "why not go to school to make movies."  it didn't really pan out.  all my movies looked more like moving photographs anyway.  for awhile i was a film/photo major, but then i dropped the film due to multiple schedule conflicts, and lack of desire to stay in school for 5 years.  i still shoot motion picture film.  i will post some on this site eventually.  all in good time. 

until next time, 

jim turbert.com                

hello.  i have some stuff you might want to buy.  do you need a bass amp?  i have one that you can buy.  do you need a crazy camera that can expose eight frames on one sheet of 4x5 film?  i have one of those, too.  i would love to sell it to you.  i also have a bolex multimatic super 8 projector that is essentially new that i do not want.  i bought it on ebay as "new old stock".  it is a wonderful projector, but it's not right for me, and i'm trying to liquidate.  what about gralab darkroom timers.  you can never have too many of those.  i have a few.  you should buy one from me.  how do you feel about alpine air purifiers?  i like them, but marleen is not so fond of it so i never use it.  it could be yours for far less than they advertise on their website.  call me.  e-mail me.  do it now.  everything must go.

i'm still preoccupied and crazy busy, but i thought i'd check in for a moment or two.

i haven't really been taking any pictures for the past few weeks, and that sucks.  my momentum has been broken.  i must get back on track.  also, i've been in connecticut a lot.  more than i'd like to be, but you know what they say, "nobody likes to go to connecticut, but sometimes you have to."  i don't think anyone has ever said that (myself excluded), but i'm sure a lot of people have thought it (myself included).  

i'm going to atlanta at the end of the month.  i have no idea how that's going to go, but i'll let you know once i'm back.  i'm hoping that at the very least it will be kind of warm and sunny.  after this week, i'm craving some sunshine, and i look like a ghost.  a ghost with a pimple.  it's not pretty.

things are looking up though.  it's almost about lunch time.  no one has annoyed me yet today, and the weekend starts soon.  these are all positive things.  now all i need is some time to get some artwork done and a sandwich.

sincerely, 

jim 

my uncle (tom robinson/buddy) passed away on sunday, and i am deeply saddened.  he was a really great guy, and i will miss him intensely.  if you knew him and would like to go to the memorial service it will be this friday night at 7pm in winsted, ct.  

what is going on?  i said i was going to make an effort to post something good last week.  i failed to do that.  my plate is too full.  i don't know how to cope with everything right now, so there may be a substantial lapse in posts.  i will post if i feel moved to do so, but i will be focusing my attention elsewhere.  likewise, there will be no more free spoon radio show.  when things settle down i may do a show again, or i may have a mini-show music blog thing, but i haven't listened to anything new for weeks, and i don't plan on getting anything new soon (though i do want to listen to the new magnetic fields record - maybe i'll go out and get it).  

if you pray, pray for tom robinson.  if you don't pray, think warm thoughts about him.  i don't pray to anything, but sometimes i wish i did.  it seems to make some people feel better.  it's a funny thing, faith.  the only thing i have faith in is my wife.  she often makes me feel better, but i don't think i'll be praying to her. maybe i'll just keep busy.    

stick with me.  there will be greatness, but probably not soon, and almost definitely not on a regular basis for a few months.  do not abandon.  be patient, but try not to be a patient. 

sincerely, 

jim turbert

is it me, or does it seem like january is flying by?  there isn't enough time for anything.  i'm going to make one interesting post this week if it kills me.  i'll try harder tomorrow.  

i'm trying to make some new photos, and it's not going well.  i'd share some of my efforts with you, but i'm not into showing people my failures.  my idea is good, at least the heart of the idea is good, but it's not there yet.  i am not excited about any of my results.  that is perhaps the worst feeling after hours of hard work.  i'll try harder tomorrow.    

goodnight, 

jim 

jesus h. christ...  i just spent the whole night trying to get goddamned windows to install on my mac.  it almost worked.   when i say almost worked, i mean it didn't work.  i guess there's always tomorrow, but who wants to spend their time doing this shit?  i don't, but i kind of have to, so i will keep trying until i succeed.  success will be so sweet.  i can't wait.

one would think that winter break would be glorious, but these are trying times.  things are not going my way.  how are you?  

best, 

jim   

today i learned that 650 watt lights should not be made out of plastic. if you have a plastic 650 watt light (such as the atlas-warner super 8 light), DO NOT LEAVE IT ON for longer than a few minutes. when i say a few, i mean 2 minutes. seriously.  my house smells like molten plastic.    

best,
jim

the holiday season is over. it doesn't look like i'll be celebrating anything else in the near future.
it seems like forever since i last posted. i turned 32 last week. i bought a new muffler for my car on my birthday. mufflers are not cheap. neither are tires. i bought those recently, too. both my car and i are getting older. the car needs a new clutch. i need to work out. i still think i have a higher resale value than the subaru, but we are both pretty clunky. we are also both good in the snow (thanks to my new boots).
well, have a lovely new year.

best,
jim