9.06.2011

I'm going to start with the super great news. As many of you know, as of September 1, Marleen and I have a daughter.  Her name is Ruby Isobel.
She's a dear.
I will take this time to share with you some of the things that I have learned in the past few days.

1)  Almost everything Ruby does is adorable.  The only things that aren't adorable are crying and pooping.  The pooping wouldn't be so bad if she didn't often make a fresh one immediately after I change the diaper.  She's really good at that.  Besides that she moves her little arms and makes all kinds of great faces.  She looks cuter everyday.  I'm not sure if there is a cuteness apex that we are approaching, but if she just keeps getting cuter and cuter I might die.
2)  When you have a baby people give you piles of baby clothes that you wouldn't necessarily choose yourself.  I'm not complaining.   It's great to get free stuff, and no one really cares what a baby is wearing, but we now have piles of baby clothes and most of them are just ridiculous.
3)  Speaking of baby clothes, I've discovered that babies wear lots of them, all the time.  It's September, and my baby is always wearing a hat.  It looks totally dumb.  She also wears a little trap door butt thingy that is called a rompertje or onesie.  I kind of like the onesie.  In fact, I bought a few myself before she was born, but we always end up covering them up with dumb footy pants that fit awkwardly and other bigger shirts.  I guess babies aren't so good at regulating their body temperatures, so they have to dress like retarded Jedi.  She's super cute in whatever she wears, but I assure you, there is a direct correlation between level of cuteness and level of nudeness.*  Also, from a functional standpoint, stripping a baby out of three layers of clothing just to see if she peed her pants is super time and labor intensive.  If you are a clever designer, could you please make some size adjustable baby suits with dampness sensors?  That would be super.
4)  Babies are time consuming.  We haven't even left the house with her yet, but I can tell that when we do, we'll have to leave an hour before whenever we would usually leave.  It's just a fact.  Ruby is not on my schedule, and she appears to be calling the shots now.

I'm sure there is other stuff, but I can't think at the moment.  There are other things gnawing at me...

Sorry if the next section bums you all out, but I can't resist sharing this as well.  Ruby was born on Thursday, so I have not ridden my bike since then. I keep my bikes and my motorcycle in a locked inside space. The space is shared, but I still considered my stuff safe from any vandalism or theft.
I was wrong.
This morning I went to get my bike so I could go do some errands, and I noticed that my motorcycle had been moved. Then I noticed that it was not only moved, but leaning against the wall. I went to pick it up, and I noticed that the tail light was smashed, one of the signals was ripped off, as was my license plate. The plate wasn't only removed and taken, but ripped entirely off the bike. This was not even close to an accident. Someone spent time damaging my stuff. The left rear signal is attached to a chrome rack on the back of the bike.  This person ripped the whole thing off, so the entire rack will either need to be replaced or welded. Welding it on is going to be cheaper, but ugly as shit. I don't know how much a new rack costs, and I don't really care.  That is not the point.  The bike is old and mostly original. I'm the second owner, and I don't want to be responsible for destroying this thing after my uncle owned it since 1978. I'm really upset about this.  I'm more than upset.  I'm sad.  I feel violated.  I'm also incredibly angry.  I know it's only an object, but I am still very angry. Although I don't regularly ride it, the motorcycle means a lot to me, and I don't understand why people have to be so shitty. I must move out of this neighborhood. First, I have to move the bike to a new location.  I'm tired of living amongst the savages.  Someone flicked a cigarette at Marleen and me from an open apartment window a few nights ago.  Before that, a guy tried to spit on me after I went for a run late at night.  I must get away from these cowardly animals.  If you're going to spit on someone,  at least have the sack to spit in his face.  No character.  I don't think Ruby likes them either.

I'll post a baby picture or two soon.  Maybe tomorrow.

Best,
Jim

*Fully nude babies are so cute that the weak minded explode in their presence.  Fortunately, Marleen and I have a super cute cat, so we built up an immunity to cute overload.