I've been working on my back up plan. I figure that if all else fails, I can always spend my time scaring children. Clearly I'm not very good at it yet. Someday, after I lose more hair, and ramp up my crotchetiness, I may be able to make little ones run in fear. I'm already pretty crotchety, so it shouldn't be too much work. Despite my semi-crotchety nature, the smallest of people seem to find me quite amusing. It's not just Ruby. Kids stare at me, and I think they want to be friends. Maybe it's the beard. I look kind of like Chewbacca, or Fozzy Bear. My looks comfort them.
Adults do not look at me the same way. They look at me and think Unabomber. That's probably because we have the same basic haircut and beard. My disheveled visage is not charming to adults. It worked for awhile when I was younger and more attractive, but now instead of fuzzy or warm feelings, it makes people think I am dirty and undesirable. Whenever I walk into the day care place to pick up Ruby, I feel like I don't belong there. Granted, I often stroll in after having gone for a run, so I look totally crazy when I arrive. Sweaty, hairy, out of breath. The fancy moms and dads are clearly unimpressed, but what is one to do? I seriously can't be bothered getting haircuts more than a few times a year, and I strongly dislike shaving. I, like the Unabomber, have a penchant for wearing hooded sweatshirts, and thus I never look like a proper man of my age. Occasionally I wear real shirts, and it feels funny. I'll be sitting at the computer, and I reach for my hood, but it's not there, and I have a miniature freak out in my head.
I think I might be stunted.
Anyway, as I write this, it occurs to me that adults and children may think of me the same way, but their bias is skewed by perspective. Both parties think of me as a dog. Children look at me and see an amazing and fun hairy guy who they want to play with. Adults look at me and see a hairy subordinate who needs grooming, and can't be trusted with unattended food.
I do like food.
On an entirely unrelated note, I just made my first Blurb book. It's called Rally, and it features pictures of Dave's van from our crazy road trip last year. We spent so much time in and with the van during the trip that it became the main player. Everything we did revolved around the van and its health. I came to admire Rally quite a lot, and I'm glad I finally got my shit together enough to make the book.
You can preview the book in the Blurb store, but I think their preview is slow, and the quality is underwhelming. I made a small promo page that you can see at http://turbert.com/rally. I think you will find the quality is significantly higher at my promo page.