i'm going through my shit.  i found a ton of polaroid test prints that i've used for my self-portraits (and other pictures) over the past few years.  a friend of mine often sends out post card contact sheets to people, so i'm going to start sending these polaroids as contact sheets to friends and folks.  i'd rather mail them away than throw them away.  i have a hard time throwing things out.  just ask marleen.  the house is full of things that marleen would throw away.  i cannot bear to let them go.  i thought i'd share that with you.  also, i am iron man. 

sincerely, 

jim turbert

i am listening to the new portishead record right this minute.  so far i like it very much.  it sounds different from their other records.  it's still dramatic, but in a more subtle way for the most part.  there are some very unsubtle drum machine parts that are full of metallic precision.  these drums contrast with the soft and vulnerable vocals of beth gibbons.  the keyboards sound freaking amazing.  i want to eat them.  the record deserves to be listened to very carefully.  i feel that if you listen to it is as background music you may miss some of the fine details hidden in mix, and that would be an insult to their production/engineering team.  it pleases me that after returning from what appears to have been an 11 year hiatus they have a fresh and exciting new recording that is not a tired rehash of their old work.  i wish i could have hung out with all the band members individually during their hiatus so i could know what they were listening to, and what they were eating, and what personal strife they were braving.  i'm glad they made their new record, and i hope that 11 years from now they have an equally as interesting new album for me to listen to.  also, i hope they tour.  i will go see them.  

sincerely, 

jim 

i just found out that my car is seriously fucked.  those weren't the words the mechanic used, but he doesn't even want to work on it.  he told me, "i don't do engine work anymore."  that is not convenient.  i made an appointment with another guy in jp. i went to him before, and it worked out.  hopefully this guy is going to tell me something nicer than the last guy, but i doubt he will. he's going to tell me to empty my wallet, and then he's going to fist me with his wrist watch on. i am not looking forward to it.  i have to wait an entire week for the forecast violation of my posterior body cavity.  i guess it's good that the mechanic is so busy.  he seems to have the faith of lots of folks.  i like that in a mechanic.  

the opening in brattleboro was great.  the people were super nice, and i think the snacks were the best opening food ever.  i'm not even exaggerating.  they had all sorts of great sweet and savory finger foods.  i wish i was there right now.  the show looks good too.  you should totally drive up to brattleboro, and go directly to the brattleboro museum and art center.  look at everything.  

thank you for your time, 

jim

if there's one thing you can count on in 2008, it's seeing some of my photographs in a juried show somewhere (just not in boston).  if you are in the greater brattleboro, vermont area on friday night (this friday, april 18 at 5:30) you should drop by the brattleboro museum and art center.  i have six pictures up on the wall there right now, and they are just waiting for you to look at them. if you can't make it to the opening, don't fret.  the show will be up until august, so anytime you feel like taking a drive into vermont this summer, you should do it via brattleboro so you can see the splendor.  i believe there is a shoe outlet there, too.  from my experience, shoe outlets excite people more than art shows do, so bring a friend, see some art, buy some shoes.  word. 

yours truly, 

jim turbert   

i have recently come to the conclusion that i greatly admire rob zombie.  i came to this conclusion on the way to work yesterday when i heard his song "living dead girl" on the radio.  i don't have any strong feelings for his music, but if he offered a step by step course on how to have an awesome life, i would totally take it.  he is living the dream, and by that i mean that he is spending his time immersed in what he loves.  he made a name for himself in a rock band called white zombie (also the name of a classic horror movie).  white zombie offered up a bunch catchy monster themed industrial metal jams, and scored 3 or 4 hits in the 90s.  you might think that after pulling off such a coup that he would fade away into nineties metal obscurity. well, he didn't.  he has convinced someone to give him money to make feature length  horror films.  i may be wrong about that, but even if he hasn't convinced someone to give him the money, he has amassed a big enough fortune to fund the production of three films, including a remake of halloween.  you know he loves the original halloween, and he got to write a back story for michael myers.  that shit is pretty dope.    he gets to be a rock star, and he directs films.  on top of that, his wife is totally onboard.  she has even adopted the last name zombie.  i wonder if their mail box says "the zombies" on it.  basically, rob zombie has made that which is beloved to him into his livelihood, and for that i salute him.  here's to you rob zombie.  you are an inspiration.  

sincerely, 

jim turbert

p.s.  rob - if you ever read this, could you please tell me if you wake up feeling completely satisfied with yourself every morning?  i'm betting that you do.  

this is a plate of poffertjes.  poffertjes are little baby pancakes that dutch people make.  since i have been married to a dutch person for over 4 years, i know all about what dutch people eat.  i also know that they talk funny, and that they are never wrong.  i've learned a lot.    
i am married to marleen, not to martin.  we went to the cape on our anniversary.  that is where we met martin.  he resides along route 28 in yarmouth or someplace like that.  we also had pancakes on route 28.  the place was called "the pancake man" and they serve all you can eat pancakes.  we only had one serving each, but our waitress told us that there was a guy there right before us who consumed eight pancakes.  shit is crazy.  

we did other stuff, too, but i'm not going to list everything here.  it was so awesome that you couldn't possibly handle it.  i wonder what we're going to get into next year...

best, 

jim turbert  

i took the written test to get my motorcycle license.  i passed it with flying colors.  if the weather allows, i will take a class and complete my training this weekend.  next week i should be a licensed motorcycle rider unless i fuck something up.  how does that make you feel?  so far i've found that the notion of getting a motorcycle license, or riding a motorcycle in general, inspires different reactions from people.  some think i'm crazy.  some think it's cool.  others don't give a crap either way.  i'm excited about it.  

okay, so i'm in a show in providence, rhode island this month.  it's going to be a good one.  i only have one picture in it, but there are lots of other folks, some of whom i am familiar with, and they make some solid art.  you should go see the show.  the opening is march 16th at 2pm.  the location is the providence art club.  it's at 11 thomas street in, well, providence.  i'll see you there. 

love, 

jim turbert

i was in atlanta since last thursday.  i learned that atlanta has the worst traffic ever, and that the city lacks a center of activity.  they do have a lovely art museum, and the coke museum is a well funded and ridiculous monument to genius marketing.  it was also reaffirmed that southern hospitality is not a myth.  those people are so freaking friendly, i almost shot myself.  i am not accustomed to people being so nice, and i felt like my cloud of northerness was making some of them uneasy.  i was with my parents, my sister/brother in law and marleen.  it was the closest thing to a family vacation i ever had.  i expected it to be much worse than it was. all in all, it went smoothly.  i expected the combination of family and traveling to be toxic, but it was fine.  i didn't want to kill any of them at any point during the trip.  

that's all i've got for you right now.  

best, 

jim

i have other things i'd like to sell.  you can see my auctions on ebay (search bolex multimatic, and graph-check sequence camera).  you should totally bid on one or both of these items.  they are very cool.  you could also buy a 3 foot x 6 foot stainless steel sink if you're in the market for one.  think of all the stuff you could wash in such a glorious sink.  i have someold photographic enlargers as well.  three of them.  all of them are in fine condition, but one of them is super awesome.  it's called an ilford 400hl.  it's a fancy ilford head on an omega d chassis, and it comes with all the accessories you would need for 35mm, all medium format, or 4x5.  lenses, easels and light boxes (instead of traditional condensers) are included.  the timer is digital, and the filtration is controlled from the timer box.  if you want a 2.5 filter, you hit the 2.5 button, and it dials it in for you .  it's totally sweet.  also, it makes a meditative beeping sound as it counts down your exposure.  some might not find the sound meditative; in which case, you can shut the beeper off.  you should buy it.  the other enlargers are older omega b enlargers.  old does not mean rickety and horrible.  they are tanks, and will work well for years to come.  it's really nice gear.  you should buy one.  i also have a powermac g4 dual 500mhz computer with a superdrive, and 1.5 gigs of ram.  it's old, but people still sell them on ebay for $150 and up with less ram and no superdrive.  you know you want an old mac.  you should buy mine.  contact me, and we can talk about the terms of the sale.  i have some other stuff, too.  let me know if you feel like buying something, and i'll tell you if i have it.  

i won't try to sell you anything else today.  i leave for atlanta tomorrow.  that should be okay provided it doesn't rain the whole time i'm there.  i'm not really looking forward to the trip, but i kind of have to go.  tonight i'm going to give a presentation about my photography in darren miller's class at the art institute of boston.  darren is a good fellow with good skills.  you should check out his website.  

i'm going to go.  let me know if there is anything that you feel i MUST do while i'm in atlanta, because at this point, i'm not sure what's going on there.  

yours truly, 

jim        

my job makes me feel bad.  it's a decent job.  the pay is okay, the benefits are decent, and i don't take it home with me too often.  the downside is that it's totally boring, and it is getting increasingly harder for me to be nice to people.  everything i do is totally mundane.  i make things work.  i show people how to use equipment.  i clean things.  i try to convince students that it's important for them to respect our equipment.  i answer lots of questions.  i solve the same recurring problems (caused by other people) over and over again.  it's demeaning.  i'm convinced that some of the faculty here think that my only responsibility is unjamming old slide projectors.  i was actually introduced to a visiting lecturer one time as the slide projector expert.  that is the only thing that the professor could think to say about me.  shit is crazy.  shit is sad.  besides that, i don't even consider  myself a slide projector expert.  

why do i stay?  i've been asking myself that question more and more lately.  i'm sure all my negative feelings will eventually pass and i will slip into a nice groove of complacency, but right now i really want to find another way to spend my time.  

best, 

jim 

i now own turbert. com.  i consider this a minor triumph, as it has been in the works for a long time.  after many trials and tribulations, i am now officially under the control of the domain that bears my name.  now that it is mine, what do i plan to do with it you may ask???  well, i'm not quite sure.  i just wanted it.  at the moment it is pointing to jtfanclub.com, but i think i may make turbert.com a resume type website to help me gain glorious future employment. speaking of glorious, i stumbled across these sweet images on the old internet the other day.  i really like mr. hobson's work and his use of the ultra-wide angle (normally i'm not too keen on that sort of thing).  i recently bought one of those chinese 6 x 17 panoramic backs off of ebay.  i had been thinking about buying one for a long time, and then i saw the darjeeling ltd.  wes anderson's cinematographer got me all excited about making totally awesome panavision photographs.  so far i have been way less than satisfied with my results.  it's kind of like when i first went to art school, and i wanted to be a film major.  i was super into movies, and i figured "why not go to school to make movies."  it didn't really pan out.  all my movies looked more like moving photographs anyway.  for awhile i was a film/photo major, but then i dropped the film due to multiple schedule conflicts, and lack of desire to stay in school for 5 years.  i still shoot motion picture film.  i will post some on this site eventually.  all in good time. 

until next time, 

jim turbert.com                

hello.  i have some stuff you might want to buy.  do you need a bass amp?  i have one that you can buy.  do you need a crazy camera that can expose eight frames on one sheet of 4x5 film?  i have one of those, too.  i would love to sell it to you.  i also have a bolex multimatic super 8 projector that is essentially new that i do not want.  i bought it on ebay as "new old stock".  it is a wonderful projector, but it's not right for me, and i'm trying to liquidate.  what about gralab darkroom timers.  you can never have too many of those.  i have a few.  you should buy one from me.  how do you feel about alpine air purifiers?  i like them, but marleen is not so fond of it so i never use it.  it could be yours for far less than they advertise on their website.  call me.  e-mail me.  do it now.  everything must go.

i'm still preoccupied and crazy busy, but i thought i'd check in for a moment or two.

i haven't really been taking any pictures for the past few weeks, and that sucks.  my momentum has been broken.  i must get back on track.  also, i've been in connecticut a lot.  more than i'd like to be, but you know what they say, "nobody likes to go to connecticut, but sometimes you have to."  i don't think anyone has ever said that (myself excluded), but i'm sure a lot of people have thought it (myself included).  

i'm going to atlanta at the end of the month.  i have no idea how that's going to go, but i'll let you know once i'm back.  i'm hoping that at the very least it will be kind of warm and sunny.  after this week, i'm craving some sunshine, and i look like a ghost.  a ghost with a pimple.  it's not pretty.

things are looking up though.  it's almost about lunch time.  no one has annoyed me yet today, and the weekend starts soon.  these are all positive things.  now all i need is some time to get some artwork done and a sandwich.

sincerely, 

jim 

my uncle (tom robinson/buddy) passed away on sunday, and i am deeply saddened.  he was a really great guy, and i will miss him intensely.  if you knew him and would like to go to the memorial service it will be this friday night at 7pm in winsted, ct.  

what is going on?  i said i was going to make an effort to post something good last week.  i failed to do that.  my plate is too full.  i don't know how to cope with everything right now, so there may be a substantial lapse in posts.  i will post if i feel moved to do so, but i will be focusing my attention elsewhere.  likewise, there will be no more free spoon radio show.  when things settle down i may do a show again, or i may have a mini-show music blog thing, but i haven't listened to anything new for weeks, and i don't plan on getting anything new soon (though i do want to listen to the new magnetic fields record - maybe i'll go out and get it).  

if you pray, pray for tom robinson.  if you don't pray, think warm thoughts about him.  i don't pray to anything, but sometimes i wish i did.  it seems to make some people feel better.  it's a funny thing, faith.  the only thing i have faith in is my wife.  she often makes me feel better, but i don't think i'll be praying to her. maybe i'll just keep busy.    

stick with me.  there will be greatness, but probably not soon, and almost definitely not on a regular basis for a few months.  do not abandon.  be patient, but try not to be a patient. 

sincerely, 

jim turbert

is it me, or does it seem like january is flying by?  there isn't enough time for anything.  i'm going to make one interesting post this week if it kills me.  i'll try harder tomorrow.  

i'm trying to make some new photos, and it's not going well.  i'd share some of my efforts with you, but i'm not into showing people my failures.  my idea is good, at least the heart of the idea is good, but it's not there yet.  i am not excited about any of my results.  that is perhaps the worst feeling after hours of hard work.  i'll try harder tomorrow.    

goodnight, 

jim 

jesus h. christ...  i just spent the whole night trying to get goddamned windows to install on my mac.  it almost worked.   when i say almost worked, i mean it didn't work.  i guess there's always tomorrow, but who wants to spend their time doing this shit?  i don't, but i kind of have to, so i will keep trying until i succeed.  success will be so sweet.  i can't wait.

one would think that winter break would be glorious, but these are trying times.  things are not going my way.  how are you?  

best, 

jim   

today i learned that 650 watt lights should not be made out of plastic. if you have a plastic 650 watt light (such as the atlas-warner super 8 light), DO NOT LEAVE IT ON for longer than a few minutes. when i say a few, i mean 2 minutes. seriously.  my house smells like molten plastic.    

best,
jim

the holiday season is over. it doesn't look like i'll be celebrating anything else in the near future.
it seems like forever since i last posted. i turned 32 last week. i bought a new muffler for my car on my birthday. mufflers are not cheap. neither are tires. i bought those recently, too. both my car and i are getting older. the car needs a new clutch. i need to work out. i still think i have a higher resale value than the subaru, but we are both pretty clunky. we are also both good in the snow (thanks to my new boots).
well, have a lovely new year.

best,
jim

i think i'm over wishing stomach cancer on my neighbors now. that's never a good thing.

marleen was telling me that if the weather keeps behaving as forecast, then we will have more snow by the end of the weekend than we had all last winter. gosh, i want it to stop. it sure is purty though.

best,
jim

beardcicles! i rode my bike to work this morning. this is what i looked like when i arrived. shit is crazy. i'm glad i rode in, but i think i'm going to wait a bit until the snow on the sides of the road clears more before i ride in again. i was the holeshot king on the ride in. there is a thin layer of ice all over everything. that ice doesn't really bother the cars, but it makes a huge difference for bikes. if i was only riding in boston i wouldn't worry about it, but i think i may get killed on my night commute.

until next time,
jim

remember the other day (was it yesterday?) that i said that the end of 2007 means the end of interest in jim turbert and his self-portraits? well, i got a rejection letter from a show today. that show is called "self-evident : contemporary american self-portraiture." if there was ever a show that i should be in, i think this would be the one. it's a bunch of yahoos taking pictures of themselves, and it's in a not-for-profit gallery. i'm not saying that this means it's curtains for turbert, but jesus, that would be a good show for me to be in. hopefully the show will be full of famous people. then i won't feel so bad. if it's a bunch of other "emerging artists" (or "nobodies" like myself) then i will be sad.
i'm just bitching. i understand that every curator has a vision of what their show should be, and i am fully aware that not everyone is interested in pictures of me. i'm not really offended that i was not included in this show, but i did hope that i would be invited. normally, i don't like to broadcast my failures, but i thought this one was amusing. i hope you find it amusing as well.

i'm being awfully forthright with my feelings lately, aren't i?

best,
jim

friends give me a hard time about hating people, but i really do hate people. not everyone, but people in general because they typically are self-centered assholes who do things because they are easy without regard for those around them. i live on a crowded street with limited on-street parking and some douche decided this was a good idea...
i wish i knew for certain who was responsible, because if i did i would move all that snow to their fucking doorstep, and then when they would come outside to yell at me, i would hit them with the shovel. my working theory is that whomever plowed the driveway across the street pushed all the snow into that perfectly good parking space in front of my house. mind you, this is someone with a driveway.  they don't even need to worry about parking.  if no one moves this pile of snow, it could stay there all winter. it probably won't stay there, but if the temperature doesn't rise significantly, giant mounds of snow tend to remain giant mounds of snow. i can't see any of the people in my building moving it, so i will be out there tomorrow shoveling the pile of snow away. i really want the responsible partie(s) to be uncomfortable. very uncomfortable, like stomach cancer or something. happy fucking holidays. i hate you from the core of my being.

sincerely,
jim turbert

dude... we have snow. lots of snow. i just want to take this time to sing the praises of my car. my car may look and sound like some retarded kid's go cart, but while i was cruising past all the suckers stuck in the snow on my way home from work tonight, i was glad i opted for a subaru. shit was crazy, or as marleen said, "like a hot knife through butter."
i guess i could have stopped to help all those stranded on the sides of the road, but there were so many of them, that i would have been there all night. besides that, i am not mother theresa. i help people, but there comes a time when you realize you can't help everyone. it just so happens that i realized (or re-realized) this on my way home from work this evening. i am a bastard. marleen was disappointed in me, but we'd probably still be in a line of stranded people if i didn't take matters into my own 4 wheels. anyway, i just want to say that the all whell drive power of the subaru impreza is so good. so good.

sincerely,
jim

2007 is almost over. today marked the last day of classes at wellesley. i am happy about that, but it means that i have all sorts of other responsibilities to think about. i have to buy people gifts, and i need to take a bunch of pictures. i also need to contact a bunch of people. i've fallen way behind in my correspondences. shit is crazy. on top of all that i, i had to buy new tires today. shit is expensive, and they didn't do the alignment right. the guy at the major new england tire retailer i went to made a point of showing me a diagram of how far out of whack my wheels were before. i find it odd that my car seemed to drive in a straight line without any effort before, but now that they fixed it my subaru consistently pulls to the left. whose dick do you have to suck to get some service around here. don't they know that i have shit to do? i don't want to have to go back down there so they can straighten me out. i don't want to, but i have to. there is no justice.
as i was saying, 2007 is almost over. it's been a good year, and i don't know if i should expect 2008 to be as good, or if i should expect a sudden downward spiral of pain and suffering. i am not excited about pain or suffering (some people are, you know...). already, they've taken my photo off of the front page of flak photo. it's still a site worth visiting, but damn did it look good with me on it. also, the show i'm in in lexington, ky is coming down this week if i'm not mistaken. is my departure from flakphoto a sign that people are already sick of my shit? they've only been looking at me for a few months. i'm not going to worry about it. i just had a few small prints up during art basel at gallery diet in miami, fla. also, i'm going to be in a show in pittsburgh, pa next summer. i have an idea for a new photo series. the new jams will not involve costumes or dressing up. i'm not sure if people will like that. at this point, i'm not sure if i'll like it. as of right now, i have a bunch of crappy sketches in my notebook that sort of illustrate my plans. i'll get cracking on those. then you can look at the pictures and tell me what you think. alright, it's a deal.

best,
jim

damn.  what was possibly the last free spoon radio ever came and went yesterday.  i've been doing the show for 6 years, but now i think it's time to stop.  i know i've posted this before, but here are some links to the archives >> http://freespoon.jtfanclub.com and here is an awesome advertisement >> http://jtfanclub.com/radioads/120507.htm

happy december.  more later.  

best, 

jim

i just made my first pumpkin pie.  i don't think the crust is going to be super awesome.  i used "white whole wheat" flour.  i'm not sure how a flour can be both white and whole wheat, but i am looking forward to eating it.  i also made pumpkin bread.  i'm looking forward to eating that too. don't you wish you lived with me?  we'd have so much fun, and we'd eat lots of snacks.

other than fun with baked goods, not a lot is happening.  i took some pictures yesterday, and then i played civilization on the computer.  civilization is a good way to waste a lot of time.  if you've never played, then i don't recommend starting because it will suck many of  your hours away. tomorrow is the start of a grueling two day work week.  when i say grueling, i mean not grueling. it's going to be short and sweet.  as sweet as pumpkin pie in fact.  mmm...pie.

marleen is away, but she'll be home in a few hours.  she has her digital camera with her, but when she gets home i may document my glorious pie and post the image here.  you will wish you lived with me.  

until later,

jim  

the above image is an unprecedented look into the process of making a jim turbert self-portrait.  dave olsen helped me out while i was shooting, and he also brought his trusty new canon elph along to document the magic.  it truly was magical.  just ask the freezing muensterman sisters in the background.  they loved every second of it.  

that's all for now.  

with all my love, 

jim turbert

the other day marleen and i came home and there were 5 cop cars parked outside of our house. there was no sign of hardcore police action so we didn't know what was going on. cop party? well, when we went through the first door we discovered that the cops were inside our building. fortunately, they weren't interested in us, but they were investigating one of our upstairs neighbors. one of them asked us if we knew "anything about your upstairs neighbor?" we assumed they were talking about the guy who lives directly above us because he had some "issues" with the local authorities before. actually, he used to have a jokey doormat that said "COME BACK WITH A WARRANT!" that doormat disappeared after the police actually came and took him with them, but i digress. it turns out they were looking for one of our other upstairs neighbors. given this information you may choose to believe that i live in a rough and tumble neighborhood, but this is not the case. it's a lovely neighborhood, and the only police action i've seen on my street has been in my house. i hope they don't come for me next.

since my last post, i've done all sorts of fun stuff.  i went to new york, and i got a new scanner.  i didn't get the scanner in new york.  i got a scanner and i went to new york.  that's all i've got for you right now.  

best, 

jim