When I started writing this blog and its distant ancestor, I did it because I could write anything I wanted to. It was nice to be able to express a full range of human emotions, or to be able to post any dumb shit that I wanted to.  I don't feel like I can do that anymore.  I censor myself to save the feelings of others, or to protect myself from the judgements of potential employers.  I've been told that many employers do not want to know that their employees (or potential employees) are real people who aren't happy all the time.  Every time I post something less than jubilant I have to hear about how depressing I am, or about how worried people are about me.
I don't understand.  Is everyone else happy ALL of the time?   It can't be so.
I haven't decided if I want to stop posting, or if I want to post more.  I realize that I don't have a ton of readers, but if you could drop me a line with your thoughts on the matter, that would be grand.  Perhaps your input will help me make a decision.

By the way, I'm doing pretty well.  Things are slow after my epic journey earlier this summer.  I had to quit my postal job before the trip, so I am searching for employment, and getting other stuff done.  It is super cool to be at home hanging out with Marleen.  We're preparing for the imminent arrival of Babycakes (the working title of our future child).  When I say imminent, I mean in less than 2 months.  The Baby is due on August 30.  I hope we have a name by then, because I'm pretty sure anyone with the name Babycakes will be teased by their peers even though many Dutch names sound far funnier than Babycakes does.
So yeah, I'm going to go.  Try not to let the bastards get you down.



TheReadQueen said...

I totally get the push/pull of the blogosphere. I considered quitting. I also considred going anon but in the end, I found that linking my identity to the thoughts was a lesson I needed to learn: how to own my words and also how to talk about stuff that people don't talk about face to face. Because, yeah people aren't totally happy all the time. But they are told that thay should be, and that creates a disconnect.

Just my two cents.
And congrats to you and Marleen! My TinyOne is 3months old. It's a wild ride so far!

Anonymous said...

F#ck what everybody else thinks! Just write what you want to write. If potential employers will not hire you because of that, it's just their bad luck. Don't censor yourself! Don't become a prisoner of your words in this society.

Oh o time is going so fast. Hope Marleen is feeling good untill the end of August. See you next week at the wedding?

Sassy Spinster said...

Babycakes would be a great name for your child! Imagine him/her at 18 years of age still loving you and rejoicing over the name you gave him/her :)

Keep blogging, man. And/or try zining! It's liberating! There's a community of people like us who question why there is a constriction on creativity and dissonance in society. Of why simply allowing ourselves to freely express our observations, opinions and dreams seem so threatening to popular media and the general public. Though I may soon be the zinester/blogger formerly known as the Sassy Spinster, I personally will continue to use a pseudonym mostly so students/weirdos/potential employers do not stalk me online.

And for the 24/7 happiness regime, f*ck 'em! Read "Bright-Sided" by Barbara Ehrenreich. She's a sharp lady with lots of research and insight on the American obsession with positivity, self-entitlement and denial of reality (look at the Wall St. crash!).
Her blog: http://www.barbaraehrenreich.com/blogs.htm

Ok. Good luck to you and Marleen!
I'm going to move to Madison to start library school soon. I can send a family size bag of cheese curds and cows to you if you need some. :)