2.03.2011

As you may know, I was in CT in December taking care of my grandmother for awhile.  She is super old, and has dementia.  Also, she doesn't hear very well, so I spent a lot of time writing things down so we could communicate.  I'm not sure if she was messing with me or not, but on occasion she claimed that she couldn't read my handwriting, so I typed some stuff on the laptop.  I just found a text file from one of those conversations.  I'm not sure if anyone else will find this amusing, but here are some one sided excerpts from one of our conversations.  These are all things that I said.  The spaces between each line  are where she would have said something:


do you like your new cookies?

you were eating them before.  they're in a can in your room.

they are dutch.  like marlane (*sic)

she's a good egg.

*marleen's name is spelled M A R L E E N, but it would have taken too much energy to explain that E is pronounced differently in Dutch.  Also, she would forget that I explained it, and would keep asking me over and over and over again.
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if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

you're doing it again.

BE NICE.

tell me about it.

no, but we will have a daughter named florence.

it's going to be awesome.

so good.

F L O R E N C E

timing.

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we're on vacation

we'll be here for a week or so.  

so get ready…

for us.  

just be prepared.  

you'll know when the time comes.  

sometimes greatness is thrust upon us.  

there's enough of me to go around.  

firenze

i already heated it up once.  you have to drink faster.  

do you want to go to your room?  it's warmer in there.

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Maybe i'll make a movie out of that material.  An animation?  Hmmm.
  
Oh yeah, here's an explanation about the whole Florence thing.  Gram's name is Florence.  One of the effects of dementia is that she forgets what she has said, yet she seems to have the same thoughts over and over again.  She always asks me if I'm married.  Then she asks if I have kids.  Then she asks, "Why Not?!"  She follows that up with, "If you ever have a daughter, you have to name her Florence."  So, now I will often beat her to the punch, and just flat out tell her that if we ever have a daughter we will name her Florence.   

I think it's funny that she's so obsessed with naming people as a tribute to others.  My mother is named Alberta.  Gram's brother's name was Albert.  My uncle's name was Thomas (after his father, my grandfather), but somehow he earned the nickname Buddy, which was also the nickname of my grandfather's sister, Bernardine (sp?).  I always knew her as Aunt Buddy because that is what my mother called her.  Her husband's name was William, or "Bill".  Would you care to guess what my other uncle's name is? 

Another funny aside, my uncle, Buddy (not Uncle Buddy), never wanted to be referred to as Uncle Buddy.  When I was a small child, he would call me Nephew Jimmy whenever I called him Uncle Buddy.  Likewise, he called my sister Niece Tara.  Shit is funny.  I miss that guy.

Okay, that's all I've got right now.  

Sincerely, 
Jim

1 comment:

Unknown said...

This made me laugh and cry at the same time.